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Three Cheers for the Animals

by Monster Furniture

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1.
Honeybee 01:27
Little honeybee I hope you never leave  
2.
Lionx 03:45
Walk over the land Dinner with friends Safety in numbers for me Licking my lips When the safari got boring Your beautiful hair Beautiful eyes Beautiful posture when you kill Has worn me down Oh, how men have failed you Your body doesn’t lie Eat out of your hands Talk to a friend Locate a place you can groom Nobody saw When you snuck off with the cocaine These next couple fingernails Are getting bitten off so fucking fast Your head will spin Oh, how men have failed you Your body doesn’t lie Hide the bodies Wake the neighbors Call your parents Find the shortcut Take the day off Fill your stomach Where’d the time go? Take my pride back Not my function Not my features Not my problem Where’s my pride?
3.
Paws 02:34
I fuck myself over like it’s going out of style I could trip on the air Cut my tongue out, muzzle me, and teach me how to wait There’s got to be a way to refresh the page Your paws My claws Your pause My clause I’m exploding over something trivial This is par for the course Feel the wall that separates my stomach and my heart Start to liquefy Refresh the page Your paws My claws Your pause My clause Don’t you want to lay in bed and eat ice cream Or get really fucking drunk with me On a Tuesday night Then go to work hung over but basically alright
4.
Cagey 04:09
Choose your friends, romance, or family Everybody else returns to sea I love wasting time You always waste my time I will butcher animals to feed our love lung You’re pretty cagey when you want what you don’t have And I go crazy when I think on what we can’t have I had jumped the gun and wandered free Into the crosswalk blind without my lead Speeding traffic spared The line connecting our stares I will sacrifice entire species to feel safe You’re pretty cagey when you want what you don’t have And I go crazy when I think on what we can’t have You’re pretty cagey when you want what you don’t have And I go crazy when I try to walk it back
5.
Misprint 02:10
The papers told me it would rain forever But there had to be a misprint The sky was threatening to bring me to my knees But it had to be a misprint It was a misprint Stop telling lies The lady hiding out from wild dogs was safe But it had to be a misprint I sold a car for less than what I paid to fix it up It was a misprint It was a misprint Stop telling lies
6.
I want to write your favorite song You’d rather see me make my credit rating right I drank too much last night But who cares? The world is gonna end in fire Comets and fire Fuck me with fire Comets and fire I bought some pizza in the rain And went home to eat it by myself, cause what’s the point? As if I had a choice Who cares? The world is gonna end in fire Comets and fire Fuck me with fire Comets and fire You can hate me But I’m not shaking hands with anymore sharks Bad behavior needs no labels Just run out the clock Cause everyone is gonna die in all-consuming, endless waves of fire Comets and fire Get fucked with fire Comets and fire  
7.
I watched an elephant kicking around with his weight in an upstairs room Through every window, his shadow raged and the ground vibrated The image wasn’t enough I had to get closer to know the experience And I could hear my friends They were running away Pick out a couple of creatures you could see yourself never wanting to be around again We find each other standing on opposite sides of a bucket I get acutely aware of the shape of my stomach You won’t stop asking for my permission To take more ibuprofen for your condition Pick out a couple of creatures you could see yourself never wanting to be around again I got a terrible feeling this could signify the beginning of extinction by design
8.
I want to go for a walk but my feet are still shot I’d take my dog to the park She’s the best friend I got She’s not a killer, but she can kind of be a bully She’s not a killer I’ve never even known a killer What’s the largest you have? I need a flattering fit I want to pick out a diet, but it’s hard to commit I’ve got a pit in my stomach It’s hard to relax It’s hard to complain and not repeat myself I watch my spirit fall out of my mouth And vanish into the air I know how to misbehave Animals will dig my grave I know how to misbehave Animals will make my grave the place to be seen I like to listen to kids talking trash in the street They’re the only ones who can laugh honestly If I smile, it’s only cause I wanted you to notice I was capable I die a little every time add another twenty dollars to my Metro card I like to worry I’m the jittery sort I can’t afford to be patient when life is so short I like to think about all the ways the world will probably end I like the animals Thank god for animals Three cheers to all of my friends I know how to misbehave Animals will dig my grave I know how to misbehave Animals will make my grave the place to be seen

about

Recorded in my room and in my practice space April and May 2017.

credits

released June 2, 2017

Gabe Smoller - guitar/bass/vox/glockenspiel
Hannah Nichols - drums
Anthony Pagaza - drums on "Paws"

Recorded and mixed by Gabe Smoller

Mastered in 5 minutes by a robot on the internet ("It's just kinda like making your homemade pizza stone pie and then topping it off with cheese whiz." - Freddie Wyss)

Art by Gabe Smoller

Thanks so much to everyone who participated in the yard party recordings that form the foundation of the title track. As best as I can remember, you are: Scuz, Freddie, Hannah N., Andrew, Athena, Sarah, Charles, Olivia, Ak, Ak's friend who brought tequila, Justin, Steph, Alec, Hannah S., Arielle, Matt, Pat, Scott, Anthony, Rachel, Cooper, and one of the guys who lives in the ground floor apartment next door. You're all animals.

Special thanks to Freddie Wyss for overseeing the field recordings and giving me some encouragement on a really, really frustrating day.

Special thanks to Hannah Nichols for being patient and generous, but mostly for sacrificing a couple of beautiful spring days to make a record with me.

Special thanks to Anthony Pagaza for being the world's chillest roommate/secret drum monster.

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Monster Furniture Brooklyn, New York

"Giant Egg" out now!

Monster Furniture is the moniker of Brooklyn-based recording artist Gabe Smoller. Across genre-spanning albums and with a rotating cast of collaborators, he writes songs about dogs, death, containment, illness, and home renovation, finding complexity in the mundane (and with just enough DIY eccentricities to keep things from getting too heavy). ... more

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